Top

I am Helping Someone

Someone disclosed to you they experienced sexual violence… How should you respond?

DO DON'T
  • Listen to them and believe them
  • Reassure them that it is not their fault
  • Validate their feelings about the incident
  • Show them you support and care about their wellbeing
  • Let them know support resources are available
  • Understand your own limitations and take care of yourself
  • Push them to go into detail about the incident
  • Minimize what happened to them
  • Blame them, judge them, or tell them what to do
  • Ask them irrelevant questions (e.g. about their clothing, substance use or sexual history)

Most importantly, make sure that person is safe, heard and supported.

There are many resources that can help someone affected by sexual and gender-based violence. Please visit our Get Support page to learn more.

FOR SLC FACULTY AND STAFF

Under the Sexual and Gender-Based Violence (SGBV) Prevention Policy, St. Lawrence College employees and contractors are required to immediately report all incidents and suspected or imminent incidents of SGBV. You might witness an incident of sexual violence, or hear about one from a bystander or perpetrator. You might also receive a disclosure of sexual violence directly from a survivor.

If you receive a disclosure of SGBV from a student, it is your responsibility to:

  1. Respond in a compassionate, supportive and respectful manner (see above chart).
  2. Let the student know about the SGBV Prevention Policy.
  3. Explain that support is available to the student through the Student Rights & Responsibilities Office (SRRO), and that they do not need to file a formal report/complaint in order to access support.
  4. Ask the student whether you can share their name with the SRRO, so that the SRRO can follow up with them for additional support.
  5. Let the student know that you are required to inform the SRRO that you received a disclosure, but that you will not share their name without their consent, unless required to ensure health and safety (see Reporting Requirements & Confidentiality, below).
  6. Inform the SRRO that you received a disclosure by contacting SRRO@sl.on.ca -- including the student’s name, if they have given consent for you to do so.

Important note: It can be difficult to receive a disclosure of sexual violence, and being a support person for someone can bring up a variety of emotions. It is important to tend to your own needs and take care of yourself after receiving a disclosure.

If you do not think you are able to support the survivor at this time, you can help them find others who are. Please reach out to the SRRO for support and guidance.

You may also wish to take advantage of the counselling supports available to staff via the Employee and Family Assistance Program. For more information, please visit SLC.me and click on “Employee and Family Assistance Program” under “Resources.” 

Reporting Requirements & Confidentiality

Making a disclosure of sexual violence can be very difficult for a survivor. It is essential that a student making a disclosure feels supported, respected and informed, including about any possible limits to confidentiality.

Per the SGBV Policy, SLC employees are required to report all incidents of SGBV, including disclosures of SGBV made by students. Employees may report receiving a student disclosure by contacting the SRRO (SRRO@sl.on.ca). The student’s personal information (name, student number, etc.) should only be shared if the student has given consent, or if required to ensure health and safety. Sharing student information may be required if:

  • There is a potential ongoing threat/risk to the community,
  • The student is at risk of further harm (including self-harm), or
  • Reporting is required by law (e.g. the incident involves a minor).

If the student does not consent to have their name shared, let them know they can reach out to the SRRO at any time for support and resources. If you aren’t sure whether sharing the student’s information is required, consult with the SRRO for guidance.

If you feel that there is an imminent threat to your safety, or the safety of the student or community, call Campus Security or 911.

Opportunities for Further Learning

The Centre for Research & Education on Violence Against Women & Children has developed a free, online training for employees of colleges and universities in Ontario, to provide guidance on how to respond to student disclosures of sexual violence. While it does not address specific St. Lawrence College policies, the training is a good opportunity to gain general knowledge and skills to support students, as well as learn about one’s own attitudes, behaviours and beliefs related to SGBV. 

You can access this self-paced online module here: Responding to Disclosures of Sexual Violence on University and College Campuses in Ontario